Strange Obsession

 Most everyone who knows me has heard me joke about this. They normally don't believe me at first, but in a weird way it is true. I have an obsession with donkey's. I don't know why or where it came from but I have one. I don't mean anything like bestiality. I just think they are funny animals. Also what better animal to like than the one who carried little baby Jesus in and out of Bethlehem. Donkey's are boarder line worthless in dollar talk, but still they are funny to watch. 

The reason for this blog is I finally got to see one up close and in person. They are a lot bigger than I thought, but look about the same. A friend and I are playing a game of Donkey sightings in normal places. (Not sure if we are currently playing, but I am, anyway.) You would be surprised how often you will find them and were at. If you don't like Donkey's pick another animal and try playing the game using what you picked. You will find they are everywhere.  

Alone

Somethings I have come to except in life, and others I'm slowly coming to terms with. The most recent is I will probably end up alone.  It might be genetic, <-which I know is not true, because all of my uncles are still single and they are either in their late forties and fifties. I have been in and out of relationships since I was in high school. All of then faulting in some way or another. Either by me or who I was seeing at the current time. 

It is said when you stop looking you find someone. I don't believe in that. To me that sounds like an excuse for why you aren't seeing someone. While at a wedding I was asked several times if I was dating someone or if I was married. The answer to both of those is no and no. I usually got the same answer of you better hurry and find someone before all the good ones are gone. None of them knowing that my good one has already gone.

I have a lot to deal with right now like school, work, and misalliances things anyway. So now with a book in one hand and a walking stick in the other I am content on my lonely journey. Slow and steady wins the race?

Alabama

Do not get me wrong I had a very fun time down in Alabama. I use think it was a place I could retire and live in peace, but I was WRONG! It was great seeing my old friends and making some new ones. I might even plan a return trip once I calm down from this last one, several, several months from now.

You hear stories about how the south is very religious, and has a lot of hospitality. These are both true, the first one more so than the other. Once you start talking about something they don't agree on you will know it. They can go from carving some wood on there porch to fire red willing to fight in four seconds.

I was only teasing people about evolution and they got so mad because I actually thought "we came from Apes." Their exact words were "That's stupid how could you think that. We did not evolve from Apes. God made us perfect from the start." So I jokingly brought up the skeletal remains we have found. They quickly informed me that those were the remains of either "retards or demands." I was blown back from this idea. I could tell that they were getting worked up so I changed the subject.

Someone brought up gays, but they don't use gay they use faggot (most of these conversations took place in a church.) I said what about using "homosexual or gay?" No faggot is what I received on the question. After I asked that they looked at me like I was a gay lover and didn't see anything wrong with it. My view is if you want to be gay then be gay. Gay does mean happy is case people don't know this.

Just when I thought things were as bad as they could get I slipped up and use a curse word. I quickly found out I can use nigger and faggot to degrade others, but not a curse word. This rule is even in effect while in front of children.

I love my friends, and will visit them again sometime. I just now know what to expect and how to act. So if you are taking a trip to the south try to use this a reference or guide before you go.

(I did not use faggot or n****r while I was down there. I don't agree with that.)

HERE I COME....AND GO

Tomorrow I'm going to Alabama for a wedding on Saturday. I haven't seen my friend Mr. Hillbilly (remember no names) for close to a year. I'm going to be flying on the new airline based out of Columbus. I'm also looking forward too more than just seeing friends like sweet tea, and southern cooking.

It's going to be a well deserved break after dealing with today. That crazy lady and the child today, but also a manager of mine. I want to wait a few days before I blog about it. Stay tuned.

Abuse

When I'm out in public I usually keep to myself, or try to entertain the company I'm with. Today. Oh how I wish today would have been when I kept to myself. I was standing in line at my college, and I seen this kid playing with toys. Doing what normal eight to ten year old does when they are playing. Giving them sound effects and pretending they are real to a certain degree.

Before I go any further let me give you a flash back so you don't think this is totally random. I try not to use names on here, but Terry Romine is my mothers ex-boyfriend. When my mom was at work during the summer he would beat me. I'm not talking about correcting or disciplining, but beat me into tears. His reasons varied for the beatings. One was because I went and got the mail. Another is when I didn't make his coffee right. Sometimes I didn't even know the reason for why I was being "punished." He would grab my arm with his left hand and whoop my ass with a board, or any other object he could get his hands on. So not only did I receive a beating but my arm was bruised up. So many times I tried to tell my mom. She refused to believe that he would do any such thing. When I would sleep at night I woke up because I rolled on my back and the pain from the sores woke me up. Carma took care of Mr. Romine.No pity party needed, and flash back over.

I'm standing in line registering for classes, and this older women maybe in her late thirties is in front of me. She wants her son to stand closer to her, but he wants to play else where, away from the crowd. She counts to two then gets out of line and grabs her son by his face and escorts him to the wall where she presses his head against it. Grinding her crooked discolored brownish teeth she quietly tells her son to "Fucking stop before she takes him to the truck." Assuming, and pretty sure I'm correct, she meant that she was going to whoop is bottom.

After seeing this I was taken back to when I was on the receiving end of that hand. I felt trapped, as if the walls of the box I was in were caving in on me. I was taken to a place I hated and did not ever want to go back. The boy was left crying holing his toys. His mother calmly returned to her place in line as if nothing had happened. How, why, what, and did that just really happen where questions running though my head. I looked at her with disgust. I asked her "was that really necessary to grab his face and put his head into a wall?" I was looked at like I was in the wrong. Her reply was "you don't have kids you wouldn't understand." If that is the case I hope I never understand. You bully your kids because you can is asinine! What happened to the golden rule treat others as you would like to be treated. On second thought I'm glad I said something because she was in the wrong, and I'm sure if someone would do that to her she would scream for help.

Sound track to this is Colorblind by Counting Crows

Grades

I just found out my final grades for my first quarter back to school. I am happy with them, but have mixed feelings as well. The biggest shocker is Anthropology-B. At midpoint I really thought about dropping the class because I was afraid I was going to fail it. Well I didn't so I'm glad I kept it. Coming in number two for a surprising treat is English-A. It's not that I don't like English I like writing (blogger case in point.) I'm at least mediocre at it, but my teacher hated me for voicing my opinions because they went against her views and made her actually teach. It always seemed like she had double standards for me and then the rest of the class. I got an "A" so I'm finished complaining about it. The one that really pisses me off is Math-B. I know it's a B and some of my classmates received C's,D's, and a few F's. The amount of work I put into that class I'm just mad at myself for slacking at the end. I had a solid "A" through the whole class. Then came a vaca to Chicago. In no way am I blaming the trip for anything because it was a must. Sanity was at risk! Their were no other options in my mind. I would have failed that class if I had to to make the trip. I passed so that's all that matters. I Finished the quarter off with a 3.25. So now I turn my attention to next quarter and a study abroad trip I will take even if it cost me a liver on the black market!

In case you were wondering the picture is from my school. It's a statue of Christopher Columbus that is located in the middle of campus. So it's not totally random.

Faith

So many times I have been asked why I don't attend church on a regular bases. It's not that I don't believe in the Lord or I'm some kind of crazy devil worshiper. Those are not accurate to say at all. I believe when you die you will be judge to see where you will end up. When I was a child my mother and I went to church every Sunday. Yes, a single mother and her only child went to church. So many times that has bothered people in our town. She decided to drive the extra 20 minutes to the next city over so she wouldn't have to deal with people whispering and talking behind our back about things they knew nothing about. One Sunday after everything was finished the pastor told my mom that he did not approve of her ways and she should find another church. To make this short we stopped going because of an ignorant pastor.

Many years later I started to attend a youth group that was affiliated with a popular church in my town. I enjoyed the people and the fun times we were having. One evening during our opening sermon the pastor, who wore jean to try an relate to us, started to gay bash talking about how horrible they where, how they where going to hell, they were scum of the Earth, and they were worthless works of the devil. I was blown back by this because I have a gay uncle. I tried to talk to him after prayer, but he wouldn't have anything to do with. I know being gay is a sin and you are going to hell for it, but their is no need to keep saying this after I ask you to stop. I felt uncomfortable and called my mom to come get me. I never went back, and I think they closed the doors a few months after that.

Lost

I love Lost. In fact I think that is an understatement. I have watched every episode since the premier a few years ago. It is almost embarrassing that I do try to plan my week around Thursday night. I missed last weeks episode due to work, and I finally got to watch it today. This might sound a little harsh or mean, but I was glad when Micheal Dawson was sent off the show. I hated every time he got in front of the camera. I just wish they would have killed off or sent his character away much sooner than they did. His main lines were to scream "Walt," or say something to the effect of "that's my son man." Great we get it, you are a crappy father and you keep screwing up. You shot two females and turned over a handful of your friends to leave them for dead as far as you knew. He was brought back as a spy, but before that he tried to kill himself a few times. Again proving his character is a horrible father and sucks at life. I hated the last show because it was all about him. I really had enough of Mr. Dawson when his plane crashed onto the island. I think that episode was just a filler for a much better one to come. Well I hope anyway. The week before last was crazy and had more going on than this week so I guess I will accept Micheal's crappy 45 minutes of fame.

Epic movie

Lies, cover-ups, scandals, affairs, bonds being forged,alliances destroyed, illegitimate and aborted children. Also can't forget the questionable job titles (i.e. farmer, trash man, or construction). This has all the ingredients of a feature motion picture, but sadly enough this is what I am finding out about people I once called family and thought I knew.

Today is Easter Sunday and like normal families we gathered together in one place hid colored eggs for the children to find. I thought I knew these people, but family secrets are kept behind tight lips. If not for my uncle (Mr. Handicap we'll call him) these tales of the dark past wouldn't come to light and probably be buried with the elders. I know somethings are better left unsaid but when they deal with you and what you think you recall happened then the truth is vital. I am confused why now he is leaking them out. Mrs. Giver of life (use your head on that one) is guilty of the same thing. Never secrets about them or things that are relevant to anything, but skeletons in other closets. I feel like what I knew was superficial an act that they were happy to live.

After the whispers of the secrets that were to be suppressed were let out I look at them (my family) and wonder how, why would you let me believe these lies. A burning question in my mind now is who is my biological father and what happened to him. After 24 years finally that conversation came up and the only thing I was told, by my grandmother was "he was an ass. That prick was worthless". Strangely enough she is in complete control of the family and what she says goes. It's the law. Now I question who was he and what happened to him? These are two simple questions that have been answered for years with lies. Close enough that as a child I believed them, but now as an adult far enough away that I question their authenticity.

Now I wonder should I play along with their game of make believe of cut ties and hid just the Easter eggs from today?

Culture

The older someone gets the more wise they become, or that is how it is suppose to be. It seems like we are now not passing on wisdom, but rather trying to make a loser feel like a winner. Where has the competition gone? Here are a few examples. It's not what's on the outside but what's on the inside. This is something a parent would tell a fat child because no one wants to date him/her. It is sad yes that they have to deal with the humiliation of being rejected, but pick up the pieces and move on. Here's another idea if you are overweight stop blaming everyone else and try a proper diet and exercise combo.
Another one is if you love something let it go and if it was meant to be yours it will come back to you. If I love something, or someone I will not let it go and wait to see if will come back to me. This is something a loser would say to try and have a reason for losing something. If you love something fight for it. Put everything you have out on the line to show that you truly care about what you love. Leave nothing in reserve because if you do leave something then you are left saying "what if" and you didn't want it bad enough.
This wisdom we are suppose to gain and pass down has stopped somewhere, and all we are doing with these examples above is letting people off of the hook. We need to fight for the things we want not let them go. We need to learn form out let downs so we don't feel the sorrow we felt before. I will say I use to believe if you loved something let it go. Now I will fight forever and never set myself up for a let down.

Consumer

I don't hate my job at all in fact I love it, and enjoy working there even if my shift is nine hours long. Sure I will make comments about my break never being long enough,or wish that it was longer nothing too serious. What I do hate is when fat people come in and destroy things when they are looking for a size they pretend to be. If we don't have I will tell you. We do not have magical elves in the back making stuff. So when I do go in the back to look it's just to get away from you for a few minutes and talk about you and laugh. My store does not carry plus sizes or anything big for that matter (for good reasons). All I ask is that when I tell you we don't have size jumbo please do trash the store trying to find a size you can squeeze into. When you leave I will just hate you while I'm trying to clean up the mess you made and hope nothing good ever happens for you. Also the store is not sleazy and I become very uncomfortable when a guy talks to me about roll playing and "really nasty shit." Whatever you have going on in the bed room leave it there. I don't know very many people who want to hear about a strangers sex life. Why can't the everyday consumer just come in find their size and leave without destroying a store over a ten dollar shirt?